The Love That Dare Not Sing Its Name

Anyone remember Mark who sent me this list a couple of weeks ago? As I mentioned then I met him as a fellow passholder at The Wright Stuff. I was very surprised at his unique and intelligent perspectives on film, so I asked him to write me something for the site, since I’m always looking to share unique perspectives with you. So here it is, the first in a series of posts about, well, a sensitive subject.

I have a confession to make. It’s the sort of admission that can elicit responses ranging from mild bemusement to outright confused shock In less enlightened times I may have been chased out of town by villagers carrying flaming torches. I even lived with a girlfriend who requested that I never indulge in this particular passion when she was at home. Despite all this (or maybe partly because of it) my devotion to my obsession has never wavered and I would proudly shout from the highest mountain top, “I LOVE WILLIAM SHATNER RECORDS!!!”

In fact I’m obsessed with all actors who one day decided that they have a song in their hearts that they must share with the world, despite lacking the requisite talent to do so. I’ve been collecting the recordings of actors who “sing” (a term which must be used very loosely in some cases) for about 20 years now. No matter how many times I hear something like William Shatner’s psychotic “Mr. Tambourine Man”, or Bette Davis yowling “Turn Me Loose On Broadway” the thrill never fades.

It has been said (by no less than Edgar Wright so it must be true) that the only truly bad film is a boring film and I would extend that definition to “singing” actors as well. A record by Mae West or Anthony Quinn may defy all conventional definitions of music (or even common sense), but it’s never boring. It’s certainly a lot more fun to listen to than something that sounds like some generic bar band (yes Bacon Brothers I’m talking to you).

What I hope to do in future posts is to introduce you to actors who have made the foray into the world of music and come out the other side having created something that at the very least can be called “interesting”. I’ll do my best to convey just how wonderfully bizarre this music can be and it may even intrigue you enough to search out these recordings and experience them for yourself. It may enlighten you, it may frighten you, it may even make you wish for temporary loss of hearing, but at least you’ll have found some music to put on at the end of the night to clear out the last of those annoying party guests.

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