Michael Moore burst onto the screen 20 years ago with his groundbreaking film Roger & Me. In it he discussed the negative impact that the auto industry, specifically General Motors, had on the town of Flint, Michigan which is, incidentally, where Moore lives. Roger & Me exposed the economical implications of a town completely dependent upon one business for its way of life and brought it to us on a personal level when Moore showed us some of the 30,000 people who had lost their jobs.  It was also the first time that we had seen the smart talking way in which he presents his argument or the kamikaze interview style we’ve become so familiar with. Roger & Me was revolutionary but soon Moore and his politics disappeared from the scene until Bowling for Columbine.

With Bowling for Columbine Moore did somethign special, by tapping into an event that was horrifying, such as children killing children, and gave it a story beyond that we could see in the news. First he showed us what really happened in the school at Columbine, then he tied it to a specific cause, highlighting the overarching problem in American culture. Moore’s film took what was left in the void and filled it with a story we could all latch on to. The problem is, it’s just his opinion.

You see, while Michael Moore is a brilliant filmmaker, he is not a documentary film makers per se. It’s true that he uses footage from real events and discusses real politics, what he’s really making is an opinion editorial. Unfortunately, a lot of people consider who Moore is and what he stands for to be the honest truth, which may or may not be the case. Because of his politics he is often vilified in the media, Moore’s films and actions have actually brought a kind of legitimacy to documentary filmmaking that wasn’t there before. He has paved the way for all kinds of documentaries to take root and has whetted the appetite of the moviegoing public for films like these.

Always a contentious figure, stories circulate on the interwebs about that his net worth is, that he has owned a number of stocks (contrary to his statements otherwise) – some of them in Haliburton- and contradictions about what he has earned for his movies. What Moore doesn’t realize is that when he says or does things that turn out to be false (like “surprising” Charlton Heston with an interview) he actually hurts all documentary filmmakers, because he’s the one who’s out in front of the cameras. Few other documentarians have come as far and have achieved as much publicly as Moore has, nor for as long. Quite frankly, I think that Moore owes it to them to be the figurehead that documentary filmmakers deserve. It will be a long time before docs have the same following, audience and appetite as main stream movies do. While I’m certain that Mr. Moore would disagree with my assertion that he’s the leader for anyone, I think it’s time to stop painting himself as the underdog, agree that he’s now a force to be reckoned with and start acting like it.

Certainly, I’ll be out there seeing Capitalism: A Love Story as soon as I can, but I’ll also recognize what I’m doing: seeing the opinions of the man who put the face on documentary films.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Everyone in creation loved this movie… execept me, apparently. Unfortunately, while I did have fun watching Liam Neeson kick ass for an hour and a half and it was indeed refreshing that there was no mystery to solve or twist to find, it had so many other issues that I was just totally unable to enjoy it…

So my issues….

He’s really a good guy who just loves his daughter. His very important job just kept him away. Uh-huh. Whatever. Se we get to see how great he is at his job, but we also get to see how great he is at being a father too. I realize that in comparison to a horse a karaoke machine is really not that impressive, but I felt this particular device was so, so, so over used that it just didn’t make any sense. Why could Lenore (aka Lenny) not simpy be a single parent who had no choice but to leave the man who just plain wasn’t there and whose job placed entirely too much strain on her? Did she really have to marry an obscenely rich man? There was no ransom factor in this movie – which honestly would have been more interesting – so why make him really rich?

The girls really, really, really bothered me. Maggie Grace and Katie Cassidy are actually quite good actresses and yet they were ridiculous teenagers who were so one dimensional that by the time they were kidnapped I was just so glad to be rid of them that I was kinda happy.

So much build up and in all the wrong places. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked the stuff with his buddies and the pop-star he was protecting. At least I got to see that he was innately skilled without having to do a whole lot of flashbacks. But he spends so much time focusing on the fact that something’s going to go wrong (which we already know or we wouldn’t be there) and then they’re not even there an hour and something bad does happen. Shocking, right? No, contrived. They couldn’t have been there even a day? Not even to get out to the party and have a little bit of fun? Nope, that would take up entirely too much screen time that they had already used up by making him look like the world’s most shafted man.

At the end he’s still standing at the airport, alone. Yeah… this one really bothered me. Since I already had a huge isssue with the family grouping devices they were using, leaving the man who just commited a TON of crimes and killed a LOT of people, to leave him standing at LAX with nothing but his bags (certainly not his daughter) it just felt unfinished. He didn’t earn anything from his ex-wife and his daughter still loves him just as much she appeared to at the beginning, so….. the point?

I can accept that the movie was really just about kicking ass and taking names, but they packed it full of a bunch of stuff that felt like they meant it to mean something…. and it just didn’t hold my attention. It’s possible that it was built up too much for me going in, since everyone I know who saw it raved about it.

Although if I could have only watched the action parts, I would likely have been perfectly happy with it…..

Disagree with me? Agree with me? I’d love to know in the comments.

So the new ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ trailer hit the web this week (more on that later) and the first thing I noticed, besides awesome and John Connor, was Kyle Gallner. Kyle Gallner is probably a name and a face you’re not that familiar with yet… that’s why I’m helping you.

Gallner came to my household’s attention the first time as “Bart Allen” on Smallville. (Nerd break: Apparently he’s supposed to The Flash… now why BART I have no idea and I don’t like it frankly. Barry Allen. Wally West. It’s not that hard. I smell rights issues. And we’re back.)  He was annoying, smart-assed and, well, perfect. We loved him as Flash from the moment he sped on screen. After seeing him in a number of other TV shows such as Veronica Mars, CSI, Bones, Medium, etc, he came to our attention again as “that kid who looks familiar” in the movie Red.

Red is a movie about a man whose dog is killed by a group of kids who are just looking for trouble. It’s a movie about justice, it’s a movie about forgiveness and it’s a movie about human nature. It’s a fantastic movie that was, sadly, largely overlooked. The two most stand out performances in the film were the lead, Brian Cox, and the brother of the kid who did the shooting, Kyle Gallner. Next he was the lead in A Haunting in Connecticut. A reasonable role in a movie no one saw. Again he managed to somehow make me care more than I think I was supposed to and kept me interested in a movie that was, all thing considered, pretty bad. In that movie he was most certainly better than the script.

Recently we saw him again in Jennifer’s Body as a totally two dimensional character that was somehow fleshed out enough to make you care with mere minutes on screen and now he’s in the new Nightmare.

Kyle Gallner is a very talented young actor who has the capacity for a great deal of depth and a good deal of acting ability. I would certainly enjoy watching him in many, many more films but I am growing afraid that he’s just going to become another teen flash-in-the-pan, perpetually ending up as blade or demon fodder. I certainly hope not because he’s cute, he’s talented and, so far, he seems to have a good agent. You should check out his work and find out why I think he’s The Weekly Awesome.

Okay, so I saw this movie awhile ago and a friend has been bugging me ever since to review it. I think he’s just desperate to see me rip it a new one. Unfortunately, that would be a difficult task because, while it’s not a super movie, it’s also not a genuinely awful movie.So, in fairness to the film, here are 5 things to love and 5 things to hate about it.

5 Things to Love About G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra:

1. High Production Values: Despite a change in costume for EVERYONE, a terrible script and a number of other issues, it certainly was very well put together. The chase scene leading up to the collapse of the Eiffel Tower was very entertaining and, in an action movie not named “G.I. Joe”, I would have likely even respected it. At the very least, the effects helped me to suspend my disbelief where the script did not.
2. Joseph Gordon-Leavitt: Again, despite some significant issues, like his costume and the change in so, so many things, JGL actually hit all the right notes for Cobra Commander. He was quietly diabolical, things didn’t quite work out as he planned (SPOILER: The Joes foiled him. Blast!), and he had to earn his minions, but I really felt that he was the one who stayed the truest to the original character. Being a very big fan of G.I. Joe Resolute, in which Cobra Commander harnesses his balls, I believe that JGL portrayed a man who could eventually become *that* Cobra Commander… even if Sommers doesn’t have the balls to do it.
3. The Women Were Largely Clothed: It was very nice to see some smart ladies who were kicking ass in actual clothing. While it’s true that most of the original characters in G.I.Joe were just as covered, it was nice to see that in a river of costume changes (and significant mis-steps) the one change they didn’t make was to have the women fighting good or evil in a bikini.
4. Ninjas: I think this one is self-explanatory, non? Leaving aside how much Snake Eyes’ “mouth” creeped me out, I was mesmerized every time either he or Storm Shadow were on screen. Also, we all know that I heart Ray Park.
5. Dennis Quaid: Dennis Quaid made watching this movie worth it, since he’s the only one who really got what they were doing – making a property that could have been relevant, awesome and poignant into a trashy, pulpy, ridiculous mess. He pretty much phoned in the entire performance and was the only one who legitimately looked like he was having a good time. When they announced that they would being filming on G.I. Joe 2 by the end of the year, hisstank.com quoted Quaid as saying: “I want to get out of the pit,” says Quaid. “I want to ride a horse and shoot a gun. I want a horse with an accelerator suit.” Snort. Everyone else thought they were making a movie. Quaid knew he was making G.I. Joke.

5 Things to Hate About G.I. Joe:

1. Everything: I know, I lied. I said there would be a list of 5 things but I wouldn’t be able to keep it to that. I gave you 5 things I liked and I think that’s pretty sufficient. I hated (in no specific order): Destro’s crappy mask at the end, Sienna Miller’s coked out performance, accelerator suits, the crappy script, the tactical gaffes (oh yes, let’s stay in the EXACT SAME base now that we know that an as yet unnamed organization knows exactly where it is), Scarlett is with Snake Eyes not Duke, the trogladyte Channing Tatum (I mean come ON, his name is CHANNING TATUM), Cobra Commander’s costume (seriously WTF. W. T. F.), Cobra Commander’s origin story, the whole business with Dr. Mindbender (what-ever), the many, many cameos making me wonder why Imhotep was hanging out with Cobra, the extreme underuse of Zartan and, last – and greatest – Snake Eyes did not take any VOW OF SILENCE. There were about a billion ways to have handled this one right and yet they screwed up the simplest of all things. At least Ray is awesome so the fighting was good.

This movie was ridiculous from beginning to end and the only joy I derived from it was watching my buddy be a 12 year-old kid in a gun shop. If I had my way we would burn the celluloid they printed it on and forget it happened. Although, I strongly suspect that the studio knew how bad it was but released it anyhow because they knew they would just “reboot” it again in 5 years like they’re doing with Resident Evil and like they did with The Hulk. Whatever Paramount, whatever.

It’s my understanding that production is moving ahead on the Captain America movie and we all know what’s going to happen:

Origin story :Steve Rogers is injected with the ‘Super Soldier’ serum and goes from scrawny to awesome in moments. The US government sends him into battle with the Nazis during WWII and he becomes the ‘American Solution’. At some point he will be frozen in time and unfrozen just in time to save the world again. Except that you know they’ll make them Jihadi freedom fighters instead of Nazis and they’ll make a huge production out of his origin story – inventing stuff as they go, because this hasn’t been completely covered in the comics, it’s more a line of dialogue and a frame of flashback – and then have him run around in his, admittedly, very silly costume saving the day. No style. No substance. No nothing. Don’t lie, you know it’s going to happen.

If I were writing this script I would skip the origin story and have them start mid-WWII. Focus on the person he is and the inspiration he is for the troops – showing them the true meaning of valor, bravery and integrity in battle or whatever – and instead of focusing on how Cap got to be Cap (because to be honest, we don’t really care – he’s a super soldier? I can get on board with that. And we’re done. It’s not a leap of faith.), focus instead on Bucky’s origin story. Show me how Bucky became Bucky and I’m there. Because there is no better mirror for who Cap is and what he stands for than the pupil that is Bucky. I say, make us love Bucky, make him love Cap and we’ll have no problem. It provides instant credit for the character who is running around literally wrapped in the American flag, making snap brilliant tactical decisions and demanding respect. In short, make it Captain America: White by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale.

Also, let Neal McDonough play him. After seeing Tin Man I realized that, while he has been relegated to supporting roles, McDonough can actually act – very well – and he has the depth, the size and the look to play this character. It’ll never happen, but a girl can dream.

This idea all came about from a conversation I had with my husband yesterday. It went like this:

Him: Louis Leterrier said that Captain America looks like it’s going to be ‘Raiders of the Lost Arc’ meets ‘The Rocketeer’ meets ‘Saving Private Ryan’.

Me: Those three things are not the same. That’s going to be horrible.

Him: Well, I can see elements of all three of those things in Cap.

Me: Really. Enlighten me.

Him: Well, Cap’s all gadgety and stuff like The Rocketter and it’ll be all old-timey with the Raiders stuff, but it’ll also have the war-worn angle with the Saving Private Ryan, or maybe they just threw that in because it’s cool or something.

Me: Uh-huh. Cap can’t fly. Do they know that?

Him: No, but he is frequently para-dropped into places.

Me: [Pause.]

Me: I’m going to have to give you that one.

Him: And sometimes he doesn’t have a parachute so he just lands on his shield. The vibranium takes the impact and doesn’t transfer it to him so he survives.

Me: That’s enough now.

We’ll see what happens. Until then, a girl can still dream.

Do you? Do you miss The Dark Knight? It occurred to me on the bus this morning that it was a year ago last Saturday that the wonder that is The Dark Knight graced the screens of movie theatres all over North America. And it was a year and a week ago tomorrow that I saw it for the first time. I remember the weeks leading up to it. I remember making t-shirts with my husband. I remember message boards a-plenty. I remember being excited. I remember being more excited about the opening of this movie than about any that had come before it.

That’s what I miss.

I miss being feverishly excited about a movie and so far this year there’s been little to whip me up even half as much. I remember last year that you could go nowhere without seeing a product or a billboard. You couldn’t take a single subway ride without overhearing a conversation between two – equally excited – people about how incredible the movie was. Normally this kind of constant bombardment of the senses with a movie is mind-numbing. The audience is sick of it before it even starts. But for some very good reasons this didn’t happen with The Dark Knight and when I stood in the theatre on Friday, July 18, 2008 to see the movie for my third time that week shaking my head at the chaos and repeating to myself, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” It was incredible. The feeling was electric.

Now, in the weeks and months that followed it turns out that The Dark Knight, while a very good movie, is just a movie and that we may have all managed to get ourselves a little out of hand, but that shouldn’t diminish the fact that for a short time people were excited about going to the movies again. A piece of film art so captivated their imaginations that they stormed the theatre to go and see it – again and again. There were few people who griped about “changes” to script or characters. Few felt betrayed by the choices that were made. I don’t imagine that this will ever happen again, but for one summer it was oh so sweet.

And I miss it.

So… yeah. I have no words. I mean really, I have no words. I’ve been trying to come up with something to say that is appropriate to how bad this is since the trailer was released earlier this week. Do you know why it’s so bad? Because to anyone who is not a fan, it will look good. That’s why it’s so bad. Because this trailer is already such an abomination of what the heart and intention of this show – nay, STORY – is that it will destroy whatever the show has built. And yet he’s managed to make it look cool enough that people will see it and, probably, like it. All of this just makes me sad. To answer the question forming in your mind right now, no I can’t give this a chance, no I can’t wait and see and, no, I’m not likely to see it. Embedded below for your viewing….

So the verdict is in. Transformers: ROTF(L) is abysmal. Apparently the shaky cam is worse. Apparently the plot is awful. So, the question is…. do I see it?

On the one hand, I say yes, for the sake of completeness I should go and see for myself what an abomination it is (illiterate African American robots and all) and on the other hand I think that’s 150 minutes of my life I can never have back. The inner debate rages on. I still haven’t seen The Hangover, so I might go see that instead. Or maybe remove all my fingernails. Or maybe just go sit in the park with a bucket of french fries and get mauled by seagulls. All of these things could potentially be better than seeing Ransforners: ROTF(L).

(PS: That is STILL not Ravage.)

I saw about 3 minutes of this in April and, while it looked kind of good, it didn’t catch my attention. It appears I wasn’t listening. So when my husband sat me down on Monday night to make me watch this I realized that I was wrong in my original assessment of this set of animated webisodes, because this series is made from 100% pure awesome.

People die. Cobra Commander kills them. Snake Eyes kicks ninja ass. Zartan decides to get in the game – Cobra-style (not to be confused with the extremely awesome tune by TeddyBears Stockholm). Things go boom and Joe wins in the end (I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here).

But what really shocked me was that it was this simple. Paramount could have made EXACTLY this movie and they would have had a spectacular hit on their hands. It acknowledges the fans and all the old characters while still reinventing it. It didn’t need to be the Stephen Sommers abomination and, worse yet, none of them needed accellerator suits in order for me to “believe” the action.

This makes me sad, but, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You can still watch Resolute and it can still make you happy. I recommend you find it on YouTube now. Today. Go. What are you waiting for? More rockets?

I know that this is going to likely make me very unpopular but I’ve got something I’ve got to get off my chest. I hate Sacha Baron Cohen. Yes, he is brilliantly funny. Yes, he is incredibly talented. Yes, he is the first to truly innovate comedy in this decade. But he makes movies that hurt people and I just can’t get behind that.

Before I saw the trailer for Borat I had no idea who SBC was, but it didn’t matter. I literally screamed with laughter at the cow, the bathing suit, his #1 prostitute sister. Tears rolled down my face as the short, 2 minute trailer continued to get funnier and funnier. Then I found out there was a whole world of SBC in Da Ali G Show and many more tear-filled, hyperventilating evenings ensued.

I had heard rumblings and rumors about how much backlash there was about Borat, especially in Romania, which he used as a double for Kazakhstan, and pretty much wrote it off. I figured everyone wants a piece of a big pie, right? Everyone wants to sue someone with deep pockets.

And then I saw Carmen Meets Borat at Hot Docs this year. As I mention in the review, the movie isn’t really about Borat – instead it is about this wonderful girl – but the effect that SBC’s movie had on this little town still came through the screen like being punched in the gut. When they sued SBC and the studio they weren’t looking for financial compensation in way that the highly litigious West is, they were looking for their honor back. In saying that one man performed abortions and that another woman was a prostitute, SBC discredited and dishonored this little town who was just trying to make the best life they possibly could.

Following on the heels of the much publicized Glod, Romania lawsuit was the suit by the fratboys who take Borat on a road trip in their winnebago. Yes, it’s true, everyone wrote this off because most people think that frat boys deserve the embarrassment that fits the boob moves they make. But what happened on that trip might actually affect their ability to get jobs later in life, or who will go out with them, or any number of other scenarios. Maybe not, right? Yes, but maybe.

Now a woman named Richelle Olson is suing SBC for what her lawyer is calling “life-altering injuries”. Again, it seems on the surface that this is a woman who was embarrassed by a stunt and wants personal gain out of it. Unfortunately, I see it differently now. Who knows what really happened there. Who knows what she did or did not know. Who knows how badly she was hurt.

What I do know is that SBC will never apologize to the people he hurts when he makes his movies. I know this is for legal reasons, since a simple apology these days is an admission of guilt and that would mean many more lawsuits. But if we all go see them it just increases the likelihood that he’ll make more (a certainty at this point), but I just don’t think it’s okay to make movies that actually injure people – physically, morally or emotionally.