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Trista’s Note: This is from my buddy Robin. I specifically asked him to write this for me because he gave me the *most entertaining* experience on Saturday night: He stood up for The Mighty Ducks. No. Not the team. The movies. You see why I was entertained. Robin is a very talented guy in his own right and it is with great pleasure that I provide this to you:

After putting Scrooge’s turkey into sandwiches for the kids, 34th street becomes like others and placing Charlie’s 2″ tree into the fire, we can let the cloud of festive smoke clear from our heads and remember other epics of season that are not tainted by holidays, but transcend them. Now if you close your eyes and think hard, not even that hard, you will realize what all families and friends should gathering around the 52″ retina-burning-ear-drum-popping-high-definition-flatscreen television bought at Best Buy on boxing day at 12:01AM is:

The Mighty Ducks (1, preferably 2, but not 3).

An epic trilogy that was by headlined Emilio Estevez, who was just the mere foundation for a great movie to franchise to build upon. The Roxbury boys were correct in giving Emilio his props (“EEEEMMIILLIIOOOOO”), for he does deserve them. The fact this movie was about these kids. These kids who captured our hearts on and off the ice. The battles they faced, as a team
and with each other, is something that everyone related to.

“CAKE-EATER!” sneers one kid to another and it hurts him.

How can words that burn so bad come from one so innocent? But it was not his fault. The black kid hated the white boy; not because he wanted to, but that was how he was raised. The tension between to two was so strong that I felt as if I was in the dressing room prepping for the game and witnessing the awkwardness that was ripping my team apart. It was ripping me apart.
Eventually, both kids grew and learned that it does not matter if you are rich or poor or white or black. All that matters is that you play hard and with that comes respect. If only we could get warring nations onto a frozen pond for a pick up game, think how much better the world could be? These kids moved so far beyond their hate for each to turn a slur into a term of
endearment.

I would be proud to call you “Cake-eater” if you would do the same for me.

The ducks not only battled racial and income prejudices, sexism as well. Not just in one, or two, but all three movies the girls had to fight and earn the respect. Now this strong comment still lies true today. Saying that no matter how we far woman have come (which is pretty far, they can drive and vote now I am told), they still face inadequacies around every corner. At every level, at every game these girls were targeted verbally, physically, and mentally. That wasn’t enough though. They stood strong and they would not be held down and EVERY time they took to the ice they showed that there were equal, if not better, then the boys. When “The Cat” in D2 went between the pipes in replace of Goldberg and made the save, I remember jumping out of my seat in pure, ecstatic joy. I also fell in love with her at that moment, just a little though.

Goldberg might have been denied his moment in the sun there, but Goldberg did have one the most inspiring scenes in Ducks trilogy. To overcome his fear of the hurtling pucks Emilio ties Goldberg to the net and has the entire team fire slaphot after slaphot at the defenseless goalie. It seem barbaric or cruel, but that is only if you are a pansy or a communist. Emilio knew that Goldberg wasn’t in any serious trouble and in the end Goldberg fears were laid to rest. He never backed down from a shot again.

Emilio showed a caring for these kids that hockey moms and hockey dads should take note of. In D1 he tests Adam’s wrist by asking him to hold out and rotate the stick. When he fails to, he is benched. This is to allow him to heal and risk further injury. While other coaches would make the kid play while yelling and screaming and possibly risking further damage, Emilio places the well-being of the kid over the team.

Knowing that winning should not come at a physical or moral cost was a lesson that Emilio learned. At the start of D1, he did not understand this. Started teaching the kids poor sportsmanship and ways of cheating. Then realizing that this was not working and just not right, he decides to focus on teaching them actual hockey skills, like the unstoppable triple-deke.

One.

Two.

Three.

GOAL!!!

Emilio paid the price for these lessons though, becoming a martyr. In D2 he was up against the evil Icelandic coach in a little one on one scrimmage and he had a clear path to the net and the victory. At which point the Icelandic coach takes a two-hand vicious slash on Emilio’s already weak knee dropping him to the ice, into pile of what man once was. The Ducks’ hero and leader
had fallen, but they used that moment to inspire them to win the tournament over the evil Icelanders.

Those evil Icelanders (who can easily be inducted into the bad guys hall of fame right along side Dr. No and Bill Lumbar) were actually better villains then Hawks in D1, which is not an easy feat. Heck, the hawks were coached but the same coach that coached Emilio when he was a kid! That might have been such the mind-trip.

Unfortunately the third installment dropped the ball (or puck if you will). Emilio is only there for 5 whole minutes. We also go from the evil Icelanders to bunch of varsity kids. To be honest though, I don’t know if you could get more evil then a hockey team from Iceland, perhaps Kazakstan?

OK, and I’m sorry, but when I was in highschool it would be impossible for me to get my hands on a canister liquid nitrogen to freeze some hockey jerseys. Perhaps that is just the difference between my public school system and their private school system. And who sends an entire hockey team to one private school? That was a trilogy error like sending the Major League boys
back to the minors, at least Scott Backula was there.

D3 aside, let us not forget that the Ducks were the ones that found us Pacey as well as beginning a professional hockey team that eventually won the Stanley cup (after dropping the ‘Mighty’ though which still doesn’t sit well with me).

Or who could forget the cartoon that was launched that had humanoid ducks battling aliens. (Its true and it was AWESOME.)

There are other hockey movies out there. You have all the Slapshots, Miracle, Mystery Alaska, Cool Runnings (it was on ice) but all them combined would not be able to stop a knuckle puck. The only movie that might rival the Ducks franchise in awesomeness is The Cutting Edge, but that could be argued more a figure skating movie then a hockey one.

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