oh god oh god please no

I have been a little apprehensive about the new GI Joe movie since the original costume stills came out. Now that there’s been a trailer, I’m sure. This might be the worst rape of my childhood yet. Everything from nanotech for Destro’s face to accelerator suits to Snake Eyes having a mouth has left me with only one thing to say: FAIL.

When it comes to stuff like this I’m more than a nerd, I’m a fanboy. There are just some things that need to remain sacred. There are some things that you need to have respect for. Nick Fury is not a grizzled old black guy, The Cap is not a dick, Optimus is not a crappy tactician (and, incidentally, DIES) and The Baroness is not Sienna Miller. They do not wear accelerator suits and Snake Eyes does not talk. Even when he’s being played by the hotness Ray Park. These are the realities of the world that development execs need to get their head around.

Check out the sh*tshow for yourself at ComingSoon.net. What a mess.

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So…. the federal government in Canada — the CONSERVATIVE federal MINORITY government — in Canada decided today to fire some people for being on the RSVP list for the fantastic Canadian movie, Young People Fucking. eTalk is reporting:

A provocative movie about the sex lives of young people is too hot for some Conservatives to handle — and a parliamentary staffer has been fired for ordering tickets to a special screening.

Tory MPs are denying they ever planned to watch the film Young People F—ing even though several of their names appeared on an RSVP list for an Ottawa viewing tomorrow night.

An assistant to MP Gary Goodyear from Cambridge, Ont., was fired after Goodyear’s name showed up on the screening guest list. She had in fact ordered the ticket for herself. (full story here)

So… yeah. This is just about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard considering that, last time I checked, we do still live in a free country in which we are able to go to the movies we want. At Canada’s Top Ten this year, a mini-festival put on by the TIFF Group which I have been ridiculously remiss in covering, Martin Gero, the film’s director and co-writer, came for a Q & A afterwards. When asked if they had trouble financing the movie because of its content, the fact that it’s his first movie and the title, he said (heavily paraphrased, it was a long time ago) that they had absolutely no trouble. In fact, they went to the studio and said they wanted to make a sex movie and the studio got on board immediately. Then he said he wanted to direct it and they said, hey why not. Then he said he was going to put a curse word in the title and the studio said, we were gonna insist. Basically he said that the content and the title alone were what sold the studio, because they could totally sell it to the public. And yet, the Conservative MINORITY government wants to introduce a bill that would allow the government to deny funding to movies they find to be of ‘questionable’ subject matter. Complete, overt censorship as sanctioned by our own government. Then the fired some girl for wanting to watch what is not only a really good movie, but is alsopretty tame. Here’s a pic of the hilarious Martin Gero that I totally ripped off from the CTT website….

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British actress will play the film’s female lead, described as a raven-haired baroness and sexy femme fatale skilled in espionage.” (Full article here.)

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